In the Shadows
by cmaayr1
Summary: I love Mansfield Park, but I always wondered what would make Fanny Price choose Henry Crawford. Here is my invisioning of what that conversation might look like. One Shot. First time writer. Comments and Reviews welcome


In the Shadows

Dark Shadows swirled in and out of the little moon light that streamed through the window by her bed as Fanny Price silently agonized over her rash decision to accept Henry Crawford's offer of marriage earlier that day. Her thoughts fleeting and unfocused as they were, kept straying from Henry to Edward Bertram the man she had been in love with since child hood.

A small sigh escaped Suzie's parted lips revealing little in the dreams that visited her. Not wanting to disturb what little comfort her sibling might have found in their tiny cramped bed Fanny rose, untangling herself from the small warm bodies of her younger siblings and moved towards the window seat to look out at the ocean flowed on the other side.

Resting her head on the glass, cold from the nights air and sea's presence she noticed in the shadows a figure watching her window trying to peer into from the dark. Pressing forward to try to get a better glance at this mysterious visitor Fanny caught herself wishing with a small part that the visitor was Edward come to finally profess his love for her. A pale moon beam shifted and illuminated the small section of road and revealed the visitor to be Henry Crawford. Seeing her face in the window, Henry lifted his hand in a small gesture to Fanny, who startled at being recognized shrank back from the window in uncertainty.

What could he possibly want with her at this time of night, she silently mused. She had only reluctantly agreed to marry him earlier; he must have come to make some ridiculous request of her knowing that since she had agreed she could not back down without seeming inconstant. A small thunk on the window frame broke Fanny from her musings as she notices Henry ready another pebble to assault her window. Knowing that he was the type of man unused to thinking of others, she moved silently through the house towards the door to persuade him to stop before he woke the whole house.

Upon opening the door Fanny caught sight of Henry looking upon her as someone who claimed to be dizzily in love, but rather as one marching towards the gallows. Fanny shut the door behind her, clutching to her shawl not sure in modesty or bracing herself against the night's chills.

"What are you doing here Henry?" She whispered into the dark. Instead of a reply Henry turned and walked further into the night away from her family home. Fanny followed him watching him sway as he walked almost like he was drunk. He suddenly stopped and whipped around to face her "Why did you agree to marry me Fanny" He whispered so quietly Fanny had to strain to hear him. Fanny not knowing how to answer looked away and pulled her shawl tighter around her shivering form.

"Answer me Fanny, why did you agree to marry me?" this time in a stronger voice. "I told you Henry" Fanny mumbled "I'm afraid of poverty, especially that of a women's." Henry slowly made his way towards her eyes blazing in the dark "Do you still want to marry me" the question heavy in-between them. "Henry..." Fanny trailed off uncertain of how to respond. Henry seemed to crumple in on himself like a rag doll, and stumbled into the wall eyes shining in the light with tears unshed. "Is there no chance you love me?" came the question from a tired small voice.

Fanny slightly moved by this uncharacteristic show of display by him, slowly walked over to him and kneeled by his side pebbles and small bits of rock pressing themselves into her knees covered by her thin shift. "I'm not sure how to answer you question Henry, you know I love Edward." Fanny uttered in reply.

"What if you don't have to give him up" Henry told her.

The possibility stunned her, to marry Henry to live as his wife while all the while loving Edward. It seemed impossible to Fanny. "You wouldn't have to give him up" Henry told her calmly "I could live with you loving him for the rest of our days. I just ask that you make some small room in your heart for me." "I love you Fanny Price, at first I will profess I only looked upon you for your grace and virtue. But then I noticed your wit, your intelligence and your beauty. I could live with you loving him, I could do it. I just ask for the small chance to be worthy of you, Fanny give me the chance to earn you. To be the man worthy of you and worthy of being your husband. I know I have dallied and flirted to make your esteem of me so low, but let me at least try." Henry urgently told her.

Fanny was shocked, who knew that Henry Crawford of all people could be so candid, so honest and speak without guile. She didn't know how to respond to him, she loved Edward right, had since the day she first set foot into Mansfield Park. But lately she didn't know him, his enrapture of Mary Crawford had showed a different light to their relationship. What she thought of as burning white hot love had slowed evolved and faded into a familial love. As Edward himself was fond of saying "There are as many forms of love, as there are moments in time." Why couldn't she be happy with Henry, if only he could somehow prove the consistency of his emotions then she could make a choice.

As if reading her thoughts Henry took her cold small hands in his and looked deep into her eyes "If you do me this honor I promise you I will try every day to show you the happiness down to the smallest measure that you will show me."

Could she really trust him, dual emotions warred in her mind. To trust him would be to let go of his past and believe that he could be the man he proclaims to be, the other to reject him out right and to know that she might never have a chance with Edward or any other man.

To learn to love, or let her life always be decided for her.

She looked into his eyes searching for the answer to her dilemma, a small sign that he could be the man she was looking for. Henry wasn't sure how long she sat there looking into his eyes, and he wasn't sure what exactly he was looking for, when he felt Fanny pull her hands from his and begin to stand up. As Fanny turned away from him, Henry hung his head knowing that he had failed to show her to somehow convenience her to stay with him to give him a shot.

"I will not say that I will grow to love you, I will not say that I will ever truly give up on Edward but I will give you the small piece that you asked for. But know that this will not be easy that you must show me that you will try." Came her small voice, and with that Fanny began to walk back to her house never stopping, never slowing, and not even sparing a glance back in his direction.

In that moment Henry realized that he would never truly deserve her, but that from this moment on he would spend his every waking moment to be the man who deserved her, to earn her, to make her known that she would be loved like no man would ever love a woman.

He hung his head wept tears of joy just happy to have the chance.


End file.
